33 Comments
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William Pauley III's avatar

Wow! This was horrifying. The method you chose to let the story unfold was perfect. I really felt immersed in the horror. Loved it!

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

That means so much coming from a GOAT. 🐐 🙏🙏 thank you

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William Pauley III's avatar

You're too kind! Thank you. 🍻

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Ken Flyingheart's avatar

Beautiful. Everything about this worked. "Manifestation of our sins" was such a delicious cherry on top!

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Wow that means a lot, thank you so much.

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Katharine Kapodistria's avatar

Very nice! You captured the MC's whole personality in this short story. And I always love a tale of the woods getting their own back...

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Nick Winney's avatar

Excellent business my friend! redneck madness and a fiiting revenge! i won't be using any road kill in my garden for sure!!!

kyuc kyuc!

😆

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Gotta be careful in the woods that ain’t been touched 🫡 thank you again for everything

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Nick Winney's avatar

thanks for a great story, man! 🫎🦌🐭🦫🐾🦨💰🏹

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Emerald City Ghosts's avatar

This is so good! It's so hard to tell a good story in all dialogue, but you really did a fantastic job of it here. It never felt forced, and the story itself was so unsettling and had such great atmosphere!

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

THANK YOUUU!

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A. C. Sanders's avatar

The format was fantastic added an element of reality to an eerie tale! I love that he brings about his own fate simply to meet a quota.

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

This was sooo good! Loved the authenticity of the characters, the horrifying beast and the buildup of dread before it appeared. Loved the format of the story. Excellent work!

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

I really really appreciate that 🙏🤝

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Andy Futuro's avatar

Damn. This is gnarly 👏

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Thank you 🐐 🤝

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Garen Marie's avatar

Whoa! This was a ride. Started off real and nasty and then it took off into big, folklorish horror. Loved that balance and the format worked so well.

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

I appreciate you reading and commenting. I’m glad it was enjoyable 🙏 big appreciation for putting this together

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Pablo Báez's avatar

👏🏽👊🏽

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Nico Harlakenden's avatar

The slow build from backwater scam to folkloric reckoning is so well done, it feels like peeling back moss on a very tenuous wet log.

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A.D. Powers's avatar

This is fantastic. It’s hard to nail dialogue, especially dialect-heavy dialogue, but you did it. Also, I can’t tell you how much I love the monster’s imagery—you hit the ball out of the park with this one. Wow!

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Very happy it works. Nailing the dialect was the toughest part for me, and I’m glad you love the creature as much as I did creating it. 🙏👻

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Some great lines. Loved that he screamed like him momma when her sister died. That's a bit of backstory/emotion that tugged me in a bit closer.

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

I really appreciate the comment. 🫡

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M. Kinghorn's avatar

Great character voice and descriptions! Tragedy and karmic justice don’t always blend smoothly, but you still manage to portray the narrator as sympathetic and the situation as heartbreaking, even while the forest collects its dues. And I love the epistolary angle!

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Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

Man that’s so good to hear. When writing, I felt both the tragedy and karma so I’m glad it came through in the writing.

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Wendy Cockcroft's avatar

Nature's revenge. Love it!

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Saint-Lazare's avatar

The narration really brings you into the scenes, and it builds nicely into that climax, indulging in all sorts of glorious details and satisfying karma. It feels great!

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