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Artemis's avatar

Your descriptions are consistently dark and vivid, and the suspense of simply knowing that someone is watching the three men already adds a layer of depth to this story. Really loved this!

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Jamie's Grim Tabulations's avatar

Too many great examples to reference but without spoiling story stuff, I would like to draw attention to this level of detail:

"

Luke ran his fingers over the cold corroded metal of the thing that once held value. Probably touched by countless other hands so long ago. He made imprints on the stagnant buttons, some of them didn’t even push in properly. He wiped off the tiny blank screen near the top. Reflecting the light into it and seeing little bits of machinery brighten up like it was still on. A sigh escaped his nose. His eyes found the grins of children posted up above a wall of summer playthings. The light in their eyes waned, the smiles cracked from time and ruination. He wondered how old they would be now – were they even alive?

"

So rich, but not over-executed. This is a skill that takes time and focus to implement and you did multiple times during this piece. Great job, I loved it!

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