6 Comments
User's avatar
Happy Nielsen's avatar

Love that we got another perspective! So nice to know immediately that she was genuine too, or at least so we can see here. Love this story!

Expand full comment
Dr Priyanka Upadhyai's avatar

I enjoyed this, great stuff!

Expand full comment
Pablo Báez's avatar

I like the shift from the first variant of the story!

I think you could've given us some glimpses of what and how she was feeling, spilling out into her actions and words. Altogether though, I enjoyed it even more than the first part and it makes the re-read even more fun.

Good work, dude!

Expand full comment
Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

I appreciate your insight as always and it seems like that criticism is a reoccurring one for my work. Definitely going to be focusing on it in the coming weeks. But thank you so much, I’m glad you enjoyed it even more! Makes me happy.

Expand full comment
Parker McCoy's avatar

This is getting to be interesting. I love the point-of-view switch to her side of the story. His short sentences would seem kind of odd. Great post, EMR.

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Mar 28
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Edward.Marlo.Ruiz's avatar

So happy you enjoyed it! 🙌🙌 She’s definitely way too nice but I think that’s what alluring for the readers. Especially compared to Mr. Machine. Phenomenal is a strong word but I’ll take what I can get. 🥲

Expand full comment