No. No. No.
I tapped Buddy. The screen flashed white and went black. Again. It reflected my distraught face back at me instead of the smiling face I needed. I reset my phone. Reset. I waited three minutes this time. Buddy’s icon was a dull gray square. It didn’t even open up anymore. I tapped on it again and again. No response. Nothing. “Buddy what the fuck –”
My arm shot up in the air and nearly launched my phone down at the more than solid tile floor. My deep breathing exercises made me bring the arm slowly back down. The frustration eased from a boil of bubbles and into a simmer. Okay – think.
Did the app go down? Is it not optimal for that much use? I went to G - finder and only had to type three letters to get to the website. The engine filled it in for me. It knew.
Their site popped up with no issue. Servers. Servers. Found it; twenty-four-seven status updates for all services and servers. It read: All Servers Down
Nothing but red bars flooded my screen. What. The. Fuck. I grit through my teeth. “NOW?” We were doing fine. It was going so well – why – why – why – Breathe. I did. Another one. Then followed it with another. Heart rate leveled, nerves calmed.
Knock. Knock. Knock. I winced.
“Are you okay? I just hope you are – I’m here to help. Even if you feel I can’t.” Her muffled voice clasped onto my heart to stop it from jumping again. I let out a small sigh. Okay. I tried to capture everything Buddy relayed to me.
The lists – the prompts – answers – shit – I can’t remember shit! And why did I rush in here? Buddy I NEED YOU.
I flushed the empty toilet and launched out of the stall. I let the faucet run for a moment; using it to rinse off my face and hopefully return the color to me, while also gaining some semblance of an answer to my sudden shift in demeanor. I looked at the gray icon one more time before shoving my phone in my pocket. The ear piece hummed in silence. No longer another voice there to accompany me.
“Hey the least you can do is answer – ain’t – “
I opened the door and let the cool air hit my clammy skin.
She stood in front of me with her arms crossed along her chest. She looked at me with her left eyebrow raised in a questioning veneer. Her golden hoop gleamed under the small orange gumdrop of light above us. I could see the fire running through her thoughts.
She had me stunned for a moment. Too stunned to even think. I brought myself back to what I just did. Her mind was quicker.
“Hello?” She bobbed her head with the question.
Just go. “Do I look better? I feel better – you look so amazing – I am so sorry.” The words flowed from me like water. I was opened like a fire hydrant. So much she might drown.
She did not smile at all, but kept the puzzling expression on her face like she was of stone. She finally answered, “You do. But thank you for the compliment. I am glad you seem okay, but okay – what the hell was that?” Her doughy hands suddenly held onto my face and she brought me closer. I froze while her fingers burned along my skin. It was paired with the cold graze of her purple nails.
She whispered to me as she caressed my cheeks and the edges of my jaw. “You do look better. Are you deaf? Slightly? Maybe? I saw that thing in your ear –” Her breath was sweet, like honey and pineapples.
“Deaf? – deaf. Yes.” I chortled and plunged my throat to allow more lies to come out. “Only slightly. Uh – tell you more at – um, the table?”
She pressed her lips together and squinted her eyes down to slits. “After you.” She let go and wiped her hands on her pants like she might get contaminated by something I had.
I simply nodded like a bobblehead and walked back to our table. My heart was being thrown around in my chest. Buddy was gone. For now. She was still here though – as long as she didn’t see through me. Fuck – my nerves lit up with what felt like lava. No, it felt like I was stripped of my skin and muscles. She did see me.
The music picked up as we sat down. It was a blare of oldies that the old man across the diner was probably enjoying more than anyone. I swallowed my fear as I examined her again. She had her arms still crossed. She felt suddenly further to.
I finally noticed that our drinks had arrived when she put a straw up in my face.
“Oh – um – thanks.” I tried to smile. She only nodded in return.
“Are you sure. . . you’re okay?” She asked me as she set her drink down steady. The lemonade felt heavy in my hands like the ice cubes were actually made up of cement. So I set mine down too. Fuck - fuck. My pulse quickened. I looked around like I was searching for the answer at another table.
She reiterated. She was unrelenting. “Um – I asked you something.”
I looked at her face – well more like her nose. Deaf – I am deaf. Remember? “Well like you saw – uh, I’m deaf.” I jazzed my hands up and tried to get her to smile. She did not. I continued, “Um, only slightly – like, like I said over there.”
“So it’s a hearing aid? In your ear.”
“Oh – yes. Uh, I need this aid in my ear for most of the time. I just got –”
Buddy’s voice rang out. It drilled its way into my ‘deaf’ ears. My heart sank down to my ass as I felt a rumble of anxiety shrivel up my spine. The robotic “host” of the diner was speaking. Buddy – was speaking. In a flat and monotone voice that could only dream to mimic the nuance of a fleshy voicebox. I nearly grasped for it but stopped when I saw her curled expression in the corner of my eye. I felt bare. Stripped to the bone again.
Our server walked up to us in the midst of my chest tightening like it was going to collapse my lungs and heart on top of themselves. I put my hand onto my forehead in the facade of a rub. To avoid eye contact. Anything but that. My fingertips got slick with sweat.
“Alright guys – we gonna’ order something?” It wasn’t the voice of the server. I forced my eyes up and saw the manager before us. He was in black, apron and all. A shorter man – with thick arms that looked like he could, and would throw me directly out of the window behind me. Before I could answer, she answered for us.
“No, no. We were just leaving. Sorry to waste your time.” Her smile beamed at the man and his shoulders slumped down with the weight of relief. I averted my gaze from them both as she pulled out a crisp twenty dollar bill. The bomb had exploded in my face after all.
“For your trouble, thank you.” He refused then smiled and walked away before she could refuse his refusal.
“Let’s go.” She was up before I blinked.
Buddy’s voice surrounded our exit. “now let us get back into the groov-es. Here to-night – ” The sound of the glass door shutting behind us muffled it. It muffled everything. My head felt like it had been suddenly submerged in a fishbowl.
We hopped in without a word said. I turned to her with my mouth open and ready to spill my guts – she cut me off with the flash of her pointer finger in the air. She was as dull as Buddy’s voice. “Take me home. Lying out your ass boy – just take me home.” My mouth clamped shut like a bear trap. She saw me. I knew it.
The ride was like rolling along the river death itself. Only a few times have I been in an atmosphere as still as this one. She got out of the steel shell without a glance and I watched the wind fluff up her hair even more. She was gone. Like a dream you couldn’t remember in the morning.
I wanted to launch myself out of the windshield. There were a good couple of poles and fences on the way back to my own pit of despair. A bluff - like everything else.
My single bedroom apartment was pitch black as I opened the door. Not even the twitching lights of the hallway let itself into the space. I walked into my own abyss and shut the door with a soft whimper as it cut out any light within.
I traced the steps I had taken countless times through the dark and into my only chair. My fingers found the grooves of the laptop and sprung it open.
Buddy was waiting with its smiling face. A chat bubble appeared. Up and working, I see.
Hey!
Hey!
So great that you are back!
How did it all go bud?My face was devoid of all emotion as my fingers hovered above the keyboard. A ball of heat rose from my chest and up into my face. The gall on this piece of shit machine. Piece of shit hardware – piece of shit – shit – shit. Shit.
My hands gripped onto the sides of the laptop and they launched it into the corner wall connecting my bedroom to the bathroom. It split apart in pieces instantly. Mini strobes of electricity popped out from all the wiring, bits of metal, and shell as it scattered everywhere. Then my hands were gripping my phone. My feet moved me to the balcony and I chucked that shit into a sea of concrete below. I turned around before it too, split apart with a small shatter.
Moonlight flooded in and hit my back with a cold glow. It cast my shadow across the room and put everything into a gray hue. I took a deep breath as my legs carried me to the light switch. My body was moving, muscles moving, bones swinging, all of myself – was moving on its own volition. Me. All me.
I turned on the light and grinned.
(Huge thank you to everyone for supporting this small serial. I appreciate all of you. Special thanks to
for the inspiration in experimental formatting and overall courage to split this up and continue. Another special thank you to for the critique and inspiration as well. Check them both out — now. Extra thanks to the downpour of support on the first part, I hope you all enjoyed it.)
I like this ending a lot. Great conclusion to a fitting series.
A surprisingly hopeful ending, which is honestly rare with a story like this! i've watched too much black mirror lol
This was honestly really gripping though. You learned from the school of the old serials (of which I have read my fair share), and it shows. I'll admit that this final chapter didn't land in the way I wanted it to, perhaps I was hoping for more of a catharsis or ramping up of the story. But I also did really enjoy the quiet, contemplative parts of both this chapter and the second one. I liked the intermingling here between contemporary dating and AI dependence--it's very prescient and is an idea I'd love to see explored further! I kind of wish this was a full novel or novella so i could see you truly rummage through the meat and bones of what happens when you delegate pieces of your life to something that isn't really equipped to handle it.
I dug how pulpy this was though. Any story that manages to sneak in a little pulp under the guise of literariness gets all the stars in my book. Excited to check out more from your body of work!